I had a review today at work; it went extremely well and I was pleased with what my supervisor and boss had to say. As of tomorrow, I will have been working there for 4 months and I think I've made really good progress. Also, I've been nominated to be on the 2008 Strategic Planning Committee at my company, which is an honor.

There was one particular comment (the very first one, actually) on my review paperwork I found rather intriguing. My supervisor started the whole thing by saying "Susan is calm." Okay, if you know me well at all, you can stop laughing now. I'm probably one of the least calm people east of the Mississippi. I'm not a nervous wreck or anything, but I am definitely sensitive, emotional, passionate, temperamental, and sometimes even irrational. I openly admit all of that. But calm? Not really. However, I do have to give myself a pat on the back for at least being able to make other people think I am calm. That proves I've come a long way in the last few years. While I may experience annoyances and aggravations, I've at least matured to the point where I can control my irritation enough to appear calm. Perhaps it's something that comes with age. If so, at this rate I'll be downright easygoing by the time I'm 40.

Labels: Deep Thoughts, Working

But "Tickled Peach" instead! Welcome to my new blog!

I've been blogging on and off since 2003. Actually, I was probably "blogging" way back in 1994 when I started getting online, creating web pages, and keeping a diary of sorts via different sites. Blogging is a hobby for me, one that discovered me instead of me discovering it, if that makes any sense. So during this past summer, when I totally stopped caring about my blog or wanting to even do anything related to blogging, I kinda figured something might be wrong, because that just wasn't like me. I had somehow lost my joy for blogging. I thought it could be burnout. When you do something daily for 3+ years, burnout can become a definite possibility. I tried starting new blogs, coming up with different names, using various layouts, attempting anything I could think of to make blogging interesting to me again. Nothing seemed to work. At all.

While it may have been partly due to a case of blogging burnout, it turned out to be more. Since sometime in July or August, I have been sludging through a bout of depression. I don't know what triggered it, all I know is that had to be what it was. Not only did I lose my joy for blogging, I wasn't really fulfilled in anything I did - work, chores, reading, crafts - things that usually make me happy or give me a sense of accomplishment held no charm whatsoever for me. Nothing seemed to help me crawl out of the fog. I even asked my doctor for some anti-depressants; however, I ended up not getting the prescription filled because I wanted to beat the depression on my own (plus, I didn't need anything that could cause weight gain, trust me on that).

Over the last couple of weeks, I've noticed an improvement in my general attitude and energy. I'm still fighting off feelings of sluggishness and apathy, but I at least feel now that I can conquer this. Depression is icky. I do not recommend it. It makes you not give a crap about anything, and that is just not fun.

Anyway. 2008 is about to begin, and I'm going into it with hopes and prayers of happiness, prosperity, and just plain goodness all around. I have big plans for next year, and I'm not going to let some silly chemical imbalance stop me from achieving what I want out of life. I will turn 30 in March, and I have this deep down feeling that my 30s are going to be my best decade ever.

So, yes, I've started another blog, but this one different in that it isn't tainted with a sense of burden. I have started "Tickled Peach" because I want to, because it is fun to me again. And after these last few months, that's big.

Labels: Deep Thoughts, General